What is a father?
As defined in the dictionary: A man who has begotten a child (aka sperm donor).
Growing up I had always wanted to know who my father was. Long story short without going into a whole lot of details – he wasn’t there. He didn’t want anything to do with us (my mom, my twin and myself). I grew up wanting to know who he was, what he was like and why he wasn’t there.
Some many years later as an adult, an opportunity presented itself. I had the opportunity to meet my father. I wanted some closure to the many questions/ideas I had of him growing up. He had told me that he had wondered about my twin and I throughout the years and how we were doing. He had mentioned he had seen out graduation announcement in the paper and wondered if we were his twins. He gave his reasons/excuses as to why he wasn’t there. He had an opportunity to meet his grand kids, one of them just a day after they were born. He made promises of how he wanted to make up for lost time and be there for his grand kids. It should come to no surprise he wasn’t there and since that day I haven’t seen or heard from the sperm donor.
What is a dad?
If you look up the word in the dictionary, there isn’t much of a definition given. It refers you to look up the word “father”. However, a dad is so much more than a father.
When I was younger my mom had this little crystal glass block and etched into it was a unicorn with cute little stars and the saying “Anyone can be a father but it takes someone special to be a dad.” I still have that block though corners are chipped and it is scratched packed in a box somewhere. I always wondered, why would they have used a unicorn to go with the saying? As I have gotten older I have come to realize as the unicorn is unique so is a dad.
To the man I grew up calling Dad, John - Thank you, thank you for all that you taught me. Thank you for showing me love and what a complete family is like. Thank you for showing me what a father/daughter relationship is even though I wasn’t related by blood. Thank you for showing me what a dad is.
To the man that later became my step-dad, Roy - I know it wasn’t easy to step into those shoes and becoming a step-father to five stubborn kids who wouldn’t give you a chance. Thank you for staying and being the comfort/support my mom needed and for being there for us. You didn’t have to take on that mantle and provide for us but you did anyway. Thank you.
To my grandpa, Carmel - I remember the last time he came and visited us I hugged him tight and told him I loved him. I remember I had a strong urge to tell him. That was the last time I remember seeing him before he passed away.
Even then it amazed me that although his left side was paralyzed he didn’t let that stop him. From what I remember he had always been a hard worker and even now whenever I see old classic cars I think of him and the many he had in the yard. I think two of my fondest memories were watching him and my mom work on his car. The second one was when my mom left me at home with him to do the dishes we ended up going to Bob’s Big Boy instead.
To the dad of my kids, Scott – Thank you for all that you do for them. Thank you for showing our girls what a man should be and how they should be treated. Thank you for showing our son how a man should be. Thank you for loving and believing in them and now as they mature into young adults supporting them as they embark on their own journeys.
Last but definitely not least, to the woman who wore both hats, my mom – Thank you. There aren’t enough words to express my appreciation and love for you. You are and will always be my greatest hero. Although I know it couldn’t have been easy doing it all on your own but I have learned strength, independence, courage, love, perseverance and knowing that even though you can be all these that it is ok to cry and ask for help.
These people are the definition of what a dad is to me. I have gleaned so much from each one of them in different parts of my life. To them I say, thank you!
And to all the other dads out there and to those who wear both hats. . . . .
Happy Father’s Day! You are doing a fantastic job!
